The International Society for the Advancement of David Kessler is a global organization comprising an elite group of people from around the world who are named David Kessler. Membership in The International Society for the Advancement of David Kessler (or TISFTAODK) is strictly limited to candidates who meet at least one of the two following stringent criteria: 1) Your name must be David Kessler; OR 2) Give me $1,000,000.

Showing posts with label David Kesslers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label David Kesslers. Show all posts

Thursday, April 05, 2007

David Kessler, Superhero, Messiah

Of all the job titles David Kessler has held, this one takes the cake. The International Society For The Advancement Of David Kessler has highlighted careers of attorneys, artists, physicians, professors, and actors. Even several fictional characters were David Kessler.

But David Kessler was a Marvel comic book character named Messiah. Starting in issue number 97 of Defenders (July 1981), the mild-mannered (aren't they always?) David Kessler made his debut. According to the Marvel Comics website,


"David Kessler was a dreamer, an idealist who thought he could change the world just by preaching a message of peace. When others gave up on the message, David put his energies to better use--working at a school for handicapped children, and other, similar efforts. No matter how hard he tried, it never seemed to make a difference. Eventually he quit his job and went to Israel, to seek out his roots. After 20 days alone in the desert, an angel appeared to him, telling David that he was the one, true messiah foretold in the Hebrew scriptures. It filled him with divine power and sent him to begin his mission of raising the world up from its current state. Unbeknownst to David, however, the angel was actually the demon Hyppokri (or one of his agents), one of the demonic cabal known as the Six-Fingered Hand, and the power that filled him was anything, but divine."


"What were his super powers?", you ask? Marvel says, "Chief among his powers was the ability to heal others. He could also evaluate the spirit of others and see their true nature. He could summon an army of warriors--whom he believed to be angels, but were really demons not actually under his control."

The International Society For The Advancement Of David Kessler has ordered on Ebay several copies of the comic that David Kessler first appears in. You may want to secure your copy now before there is a rush to horde the dwindling supplies.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Steve Guttenberg Was David Kessler

You read that right. The illustrious Steve Guttenberg played David Kessler in the 1977 movie The Chicken Chronicles. Yeah, you read that right too. The Chicken Chronicles was actually the name of the film and it was Steve Guttenberg's first major film role. It was a high school sex romp movie in which David Kessler is on a mission to lose his virginity once and for all. What else is there to do in high school? David Kessler is bound to lose his virginity sometime, so it might as well be chronicled on the silver screen.

For those of you who are following along at home, this is the second movie in which David Kessler is the main character that The International Society For The Advancement Of David Kessler has reported on (though, so far it is chronologically the oldest known movie with David Kessler in it). The first (and our favorite) movie to be discussed here is the classic An American Werewolf in London. Then, of course, there was Irreconcilable Differences. Have a look at the previous posts to learn more about the fascinating, fictitious David Kessler.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

When in Rome, Do as David Kessler Does

David Kessler is no stranger to the stage. There is evidence of David Kessler being a stage presence for over 100 years. The summer of 1999 was a particularly active summer for David Kessler as he graced several stages in the Rome, Georgia area. Along with the Prospect Theater Company, David Kessler put on a play called She Loves Me, Shakespear's classic, As You Like It and Gilbert and Sullivan's classic, The Pirates of Penzance.

Can you imagine being in Rome, Georgia that summer and seeing David Kessler in three different shows? If only the International Society For The Advancement Of David Kessler had been around at the time, we could have gotten a group rate.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

David Kessler Rocks!

David Kessler is a rocker in York, South Carolina. He plays bass and does vocals for a band called ThrottleMouth. But that isn't all. David has also produced, recorded and mixed their latest tracks.

Unfortunately, I haven't found much more about David Kessler. For now, click on the ThrottleMouth link and you can hear rock and roll David Kessler style.

Friday, February 02, 2007

David Kessler Says Your Trailer Needs a Skirt

Please, for the love of all things wholesome, don't let your trailer go without a skirt! Puting a skirt on your trailer will make you the envy of the raceway infield. What am I talking about? David Kessler knows. David Kessler is a mechanic in charge of the clutch on the racing crew of Brandon The Kid and has fasioned a protective skirt for the trailer that houses the race cars and equipment for his team. Three years after the team owner purchased the trailer, it still looks great despite the rough treatment of the racetrack pit environment.

His trailer skirt has caught the eye of many in the industry including Torco Racing Fuels Competition Plus web magazine. The drag racing magazine wrote an article about David Kessler's invention and even conveniently posts his phone number so that now that you realize how embarassingly naked your trailer is, you'll give David Kessler a call and end your trailer's shame once and for all. What kind of a trailer owner are you, anyway?

Sunday, January 28, 2007

David Kessler Phoenix from the Flame, an Update

David Kessler is the president of the North Hills Phoenix Association. The North Hills Phoenix Association is a non-profit organization of homeowners living in the North Hills area of California; near Oakland and Berkeley. The NHPA was formed in 1991 following a large fire that destroyed, among other things, David Kessler's home. Bad move, fire.

Now David Kessler has rebuilt his home, and he and his neighbors have mobilized a task force of community activists. They monitor safety and keep the local municipal services aware of their needs.

The NHPA held a press conference in October of 2006 announcing their report of how well the cities of Oakland and Berkeley responded to their recommendations following the 1991 Oakland Hills fire. The picture above is of David Kessler being covered by the local TV news channel.

If David Kessler looks familiar to you, it is because I wrote about him earlier. He is also a librarian at Berkeley. See the original story here.

Friday, January 19, 2007

The Logistics of David Kessler

The future is RFID and David Kessler knows it. What is RFID? It stands for Radio Frequency IDentification and it is what may make the ubuquitous barcode obsolete. RFID is like a universal price code (UPC symbol) printed on the side of the goods you buy. Only, with the RFID system, the product doesn't have to be held up to a laser for scanning. The product has a tiny circuit board in it that emits its code over radio waves to a nearby detector.

Maybe one day you'll put all of your groceries into your cart and have an RFID system scan your entire basket at once. Cool, huh? Imagine a library with smart shelves that know where each book is. Maybe you can take a book off the shelf and walk right out of the library with it and your RFID library card. You pick up a receceipt at the door telling you when the book is due. That technology is right around the corner and David Kessler sells it.

David Kessler is the Senior Vice President of Sales for RFID Systems in Dallas, Texas. His company creates RFID systems for warehouses, distribution, and retail businesses. He may or may not still work there. I don't know. The latest information I have on David Kessler is from 2004. Now, if only he was wearing an RFID tag...

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Laser Guided David Kessler

Not only is David Kessler a member of the International Society For The Advancement Of David Kessler, but he is also a member of The International Society for Optical Engineering. That's a lot of international societies. That international society recognized David for his significant achievements in the area of laser integration in printing systems.

So the next time you print something out on your laser printer, just imagine, David Kessler may have had something to do with it. You see, David Kessler is a senior research associate of the Optical Design Group, Engineering Physics at the Eastman Kodak Company. His lasers may print out your homework or the joke emails you pin to the inside wall of your cubicle. Either way, you know you have a hard time envisioning a world without David Kessler.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Former President David Kessler

By now I am sure it is no surprise to you that David Kessler is the founder of Sterling Medical Services. Yeah, it's true. David Kessler founded the company in 1992 and sold his interest in the company back in 2000 while he was the president. I bet he did well with that venture. The company has since been acquired by McKesson, but I bet David Kessler walked away with a pretty penny. And even though he can probably afford to pay the membership fee to The International Society For The Advancement Of David Kessler, he can keep his dough as he has satisfied the first membership criterion (though there are no proscriptions against meeting both critera).

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Just David Kessler

Dr. David Kessler received his Ph.D. in 1989 from Indiana University. You might think to yourself, "Didn't David Kessler, Ph.D., the President of the International Society For The Advancement Of David Kessler receive his bachelors degree from Indiana University in 1989?" Yes, that's very astute of you. David Kessler, Ph.D., the President of the International Society For The Advancement Of David Kessler did receive his bachelors degree from Indiana University in 1989. But David Kessler, Ph.D. received his Ph.D. from Indiana University at the same time that David Kessler Ph.D., the President of the International Society For The Advancement Of David Kessler received his bachelors degree. They didn't know each other, but they may have been at the same graduation ceremony with about a million other people.

Now, David Kessler, Ph.D. is an associate professor at Kent State University in the Department of Justice Studies. His area of interest is in police administration and community policing.

Friday, December 29, 2006

David Kessler Environmental Protector

You probably woke up in the middle of the night last night wondering who, if anyone, will be studying the environmental impact of the proposed improvements as outlined in the Master Plan at Los Angeles International Airport. You needn't fret my friend. Allow David Kessler to allay your fears. David Kessler is the Regional Evironmental Protection Specialist of the Airports Division of the Federal Aviation Administration, Western Pacific Region (I bet the typeface on his business card is very small).

So, if you have an airport that you'd like to know what its environmental impact is, call David Kessler at the FAA and he'll do a study. Just make sure your airport is in the western pacific region. Otherwise, someone other than David Kessler might do the environmental impact study. Are you going to leave that task to just anyone? Right. NO WAY!

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

David Kessler, Intellectual Litigator

David Kessler litigates all aspects of intellectual property lawsuits with the firm DrinkerBiddle of Philadelphia. He advises clients regarding document management and electronic discovery concerns. I think it only fitting, then, that I swiped his picture and some of this text from their website. Am I not incorrigible?

Well, I don't think David Kessler will mind so much when he discovers that he is now a full member of the International Society For The Advancement Of David Kessler. Of course, if he or is firm does indeed mind, then I will gladly cease and desist post haste and forthwith. Until then, let me tell you about David Kessler.

David Kessler is a senior associate at DrinkerBiddle. He graduated from MIT with undergraduate degrees in Economics and Poly Sci. He then went to the University of Pennsylvnia where he earned a masters degree in Government Administration and a law degree. He is admitted to the New Jersey and Pennsylvania Bars and even the Supreme Court of the United States of America is willing to listen to what David Kessler has to say. I knew those Justices were smart.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Enophilic David Kessler in China

David Kessler lives in China. If you look in the Shanghai phonebook you may actually find David Kessler's number listed among all the Wong numbers (sorry, it was impulse. Moving on...).

"What's David Kessler doing in China?" you may ask. "After all, he is a graduate of the Wharton School of Business, isn't he?" Well, yes, and he works for a company called WineSpring that caters to customers who insist on experiencing the finest in luxury services. David is a wine expert who was hired by WineSpring because he has extensive experience in professional wine buying and working for the hospitality industry. He is described as well-connected in the Chinese wine industry and highly respected by top wine importers, restauranteurs, sommeliers, hoteliers, and wine writers.

So, raise a glass of your finest Concord grape wine, stick out your pinky finger and toast David Kessler in China.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

David Kessler and PDA

You know you love your Palm Pilot or your Pocket PC. Where would you be without it? Lost and double-booked. Have you ever wondered where the software that runs on your personal digital assistant comes from? It doesn't come from the occasionally-smart Keebler elf. David Kessler makes software that runs on those little indispensable gadgets.

David Kessler is a software engineer who particularly likes to create software for tiny little devices. Some of his software is called embedded as it is often permanently embedded in hardware like appliances. It is his type of programming that controls your DVD player or your microwave oven. If you contact him at his company Kopsis, maybe he can make your garage door opener play MP3 files.

Whatever your PDA or embedded software needs are, you know you can't go wrong with David Kessler.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Most Accessible David Kessler

You're constructing an office tower and you need to know if the skateboard park on the side of your building counts as a wheelchair ramp. You want to comply with the Americans with Disabilities Act. All your friends are doing it. But when are you going to find the time to read the law? Maybe someone has already read it and knows just what to do. But who?

It may not surprise you to know that the answer to this question, much like almost any other is, of course, David Kessler.

That's right. David Kessler of Kessler McGuinness & Associates in Newton, Massachussetts is just the guy for you. If you hire him, you'll be inundated with happy handicapped people making their way into your building in no time at all.

David is a specialist in industrial design and social gerontology. Having a masters degree in each of those fields, David Kessler is well qualified to consult with large institutions to help their architectural planners comply with the ADA and other federal accessibility guidelines. In fact, that is just what he does there at Kessler McGuinness & Associates.

So, if you have a hankering for compliance, look no further than the obvious choice, David Kessler.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Cinematographic David Kessler

Among the couple of people who have portrayed David Kessler in movies (see the Fame section for details), there is also David Kessler working behind the camera to make other movies. Here's David Kessler with his eye mushed into a movie camera possibly doing what he does now. That is, serving as a director of photography.

David Kessler graduated from the University of Texas at Austin and went into the film industry starting as a grip, making his way into his current position. He spent years working in production for commercials and has now moved into films. Be on the lookout for a movie called Winter of Frozen Dreams, shot by (who else?) David Kessler.

Winter of Frozen Dreams is a coming of age film about several thousands of people who simultaneously realize the emptiness of their existence and their deep, paralyzing regret of not having been David Kessler sooner. When they all show up at a sleepy county courthouse to have their names changed, hillarity ensues.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Old Engineer David Kessler

In 1924 David Kessler graduated from Purdue University with a B.S. degree in engineering. At least I presume it was an engineering degree. David Kessler is listed in the Purdue University School of Electrical and Computer Engineering Wall of Fame. He may have majored in electrical engineering, though I am pretty sure his major wasn't in computer engineering. That would have been a quick course of study in 1924.

David Kessler is a Responsible Father

Here's David Kessler on the right being a responsible father taking his son Brian to a night of business networking at Quinnipiac University. The January 2004 evening included a workshop on networking and job search skills followed by an alumni panel discussing their various careers.

Way to set an example, David Kessler! That's just the kind of attitude we like to see around here at the International Society for the Advancement of David Kessler. We understand that sometimes Brian Kessler needs advancement too, though it isn't necessarily our focus, per se. Somebody should do it.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Litigator Audiophile David Kessler

You might expect an attorney such as David Kessler, who practicies law in civil litigation, labor and employment, non-competition agreements, civil rights, collections, and shareholder disputes to be a one-trick pony. But not David Kessler. In addition to being an attorney at Blaugrund, Herbert & Martin in Washington, Ohio, and president of the Dublin Management Group in Dublin, Ohio, David Kessler is also an audiophile. You can find him posting on AudioKarma.org protecting the rights and resolving disputes between AudioKarma members buying and selling esoteric audio electronics to others in the state of Ohio.

So if you are a member of AudioKarma and buy an expensive set of Mpingo disks from someone in Ohio so as to enhance the sound of your $50,000 Martin Logan electrostatic drivers pushed by dual Krell Class A monoblocks and you discover that the Mpingo disks don't actually *do* anything, give David Kessler a call. You can't go wrong with David Kessler in your corner.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Advertising Exec David Kessler

Just like Mr. Tate on Bewitched, David Kessler is an advertising executive. He used to be the managing director at the famous ad firm Hill, Holliday. A few years ago he was picked to develop ads to assist John Kerry in his run for president of the United States. He didn't work directly for the Kerry campain, but for an outside organization helping the cause without having to be limited by campain finance rules.

Of his role in creating advertising during the Kerry campain, David Kessler said, “The goal was to provide some air cover...It reminded me of the scene in Saving Private Ryan, when they hit the beachhead and the shit’s flying. That’s what our job was—take the fucking beachhead, and [Kerry] will come in when he’s ready.”

Ah, if only the results of the Kerry campain were like the results of the invasion at Normandy instead of like the invasion of Iraq. But I digress, and digress I shant. David Kessler sounds like he's got a nice solid attitude. We need a good ad man at The International Society for the Advancement of David Kessler, to assist with the effort of advancing David Kessler.